Whod you bang
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
These tits shall not be calmed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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