I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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