Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize
