spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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