Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
