My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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