i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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