peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
