he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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