I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
