Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
