Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
