I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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