youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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