what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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