He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
