I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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