Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
