Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
