Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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