You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
