I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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