So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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