i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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