I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
