I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
