it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
