I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
