My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
