I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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