you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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