you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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