well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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