I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
