i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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