1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize