It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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