i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So apparently I’m into choking now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
