I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
