I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
