i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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