Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
