Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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