My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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