I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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