I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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