She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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