I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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