I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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