I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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