this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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