i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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