Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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