I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
