i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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