Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
