He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
