went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
