he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize