She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
