So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Randomize
