You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The beer is more important than you right now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
