ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
