you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
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Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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