Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
